??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He felt like a one man threesome
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i out mim tonsoeep
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
