In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
