He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
