Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
