Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
