You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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