At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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