I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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