I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
