i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
