I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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