he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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