She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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