I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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