just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
