Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
