nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
