a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
