best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The air was thick with penises
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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