Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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