you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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