Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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