Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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