You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
