we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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