you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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