I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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