You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
