If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
