Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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