he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
