Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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