I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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