Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
