Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
