stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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