Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
