waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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