you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
