So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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