If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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