Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I CAN MOONWALK!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
