I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
