My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
