Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
