how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
