They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Mom said you looked used
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
