You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
