I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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