i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
