2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
