I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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