Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
