Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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