Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
